Hi
classmates again
Today I
will write about the best holidays I’ve ever had. I visited Viña del mar. Well, these were last year, we
started in April and finished some days
later. We rented a little house in the central coast for several days.
the fisrt reason to
say that it was one of my best holiday is because I went with all my family
group. The last time that I remember go out with all my family was when I was a
child (I don’t remember my age) the only thing I remember was that I dip for
wrong my shoes in the beach, this was in Reñaca many many many… year ago.
In my
family we are 8 people, also of my nephew and the boyfriend of my older sister.
So it is very difficult for us to go out together, because some people work, study,
etc. This is the second reason to say that
was my best holidays. I liked walking along the beach for hours with my family because in
my house (in the city)we don’t share much time and space all together, ever there
are somebody out of the house. And that was the opportunity to be together as a family
An finally, also, with my
brothers we went to the beach and others day we went to the Neruda’s house, the
house is called “Isla Negra “, and it’s so nice and beautiful, the house has
the shape of a train. We ate many foods, like shellfish, patties (cheese, meat
and shellfish), fried fish and many other delicious things.
As a conclusion, for all these reason, these was the best holidays I've ever had, travel with the family is the best
As a conclusion, for all these reason, these was the best holidays I've ever had, travel with the family is the best
Hi Carbonelson! your vacation look great,the only correction that I can make you it is that orders a little better your ideas and then conclude. But I could see a very good publication, cheers James!!
ResponderEliminarI see you in another life brother
Today I will write about the best holidays I’ve ever had. Well, these were last year, we started in April and finished some days later. We rented a little house in the central coast for several days. TOPIC SENTENCE?
ResponderEliminarA reason to say that it was one of my best holidays is because I went with all my family group. The last time that I remember goING out with all my family was when I was a child (I don’t remember my age) the only thing I remember was that I [dip for wrong my shoes???] in the beach, this was in Reñaca many many many… year ago.
In my family we are 8 people, also of my nephew and the boyfriend of my older sister. So IT IS in very difficult for us TO go out together, because some people work, study, etc. This is ANother reason to say that was (SINGULAR) my best holidays (PLURAL). I likeD? walkING ALONG THE BEACH FOR HOURS (hours in the beach) with my family because in my house (in the city) WE don’t share [many] MUCH time and space all together, [ever????] (there are somebody out of the house) (UNCLEAR).
Also, with my brothers WE went to the beach and other dayS we went to the Neruda’s house, the house is called “Isla Negra “, and it’s so nice and beautiful, the house has the form SHAPE of a train. We ate many foods, like shellfish, patties (cheese, meat and shellfish), fried fish and many other delicious things. CONCLUSION?
You did not follow the structure at all, you did not use the connectors, (Firstly, Secondly, Finally, as a conclusion) you are listing ideas that have little coherence among them. Your editing is poor (did you use the correcting tool at all). You need to. 1) do the exercises practiced in class 2) follow the rules there indicated (structure) 3) use google corrector and 4) use connectors.
Topic Sentence
Supporting Sentence 1
Explanation
Supporting Sentence 2
Explanation
Supporting Sentence 3
Explanation
Concluding Sentence